In my younger years, I used to think I would never … ever find myself in a position where I had to slowly, seductively remove a man’s pants, with enthusiasm find the right words to compliment his ‘soldier’, receive it with my mouth and start massaging it with my tongue; up and down … left and right … in and out. I never pictured myself giving head to anyone! I thought it was cheap, something for the undignified women.
Years later, I became sexually active. Miraculously, I became a believer.
I don’t remember how it all happened, but I guess he (the first boyfriend) must have made me feel too comfortable that I decided to give it a shot. You know … just for the sake. What happened? Fireworks. Ecstasy. Cloud 9. Which other word can I use to describe the feeling?
It. Was. sweet.
I then decided I had to return the favor sometime. Be a good girl. I loved his reaction. I was in awe, literally. And that’s how I got hooked. (Story of my ‘love’ life)
Recently however, I discovered some people who don’t want to talk about oral sex or hear someone talk about it. To them, it’s an abomination! Perversion of the highest order!
Don’t be too quick to judge them though. People who feel this way usually have their reasons;
It’s gross. Unhealthy. Most will say they can’t stand the smell. (Which is okay. People sweat, so does ‘downtown’. It sweats, gets dirty. If a woman is on her menstrual cycle, well, it becomes a murder scene.) Some people fear that their genitals are unattractive. Others simply don’t see the point of doing oral. Maybe their past experiences of oral sex were not pretty. (Sometimes the other person has no idea what they’re doing.) Some just lose focus during the moment. (They start worrying about loose hairs, whether or not the other person is getting exhausted. Are they enjoying it or just doing it to impress? In their head, they start drowning in an ocean of insecurities.) Some women fear that some bits of toilet paper could be stuck down there. “What would toilet paper be doing in a woman’s ‘flower’”? you ask. (You see, after doing number 1, women (some) like to use tissue to clean up. Just like how men shake the ‘soldier’ to thoroughly clean up any urine drops still hanging around.) So yes, that’s how toilet paper could end up ‘there’.
Now, I don’t know which reason you give for not liking oral; but, I will not judge. Why? Take this example.
There are people who eat meat and those who don’t. If you don’t eat meat, that’s okay. Maybe you’re allergic to it. I understand. But if you eat meat, how do you like it? Do you like to eat it raw from the abattoir or do you like to create some anticipation … cook it first, add spices, and serve it in visually impressive ways, so that by the time you eat, it tastes heavenly.
Likewise, there are people who simply don’t like oral. It has nothing to do with insecurities, lack of exposure or unknown fears. It’s just not their thing. I will not try to change you.
Then there are people who are just blinded by insecurities, naivety or unknown fears; so they choose to avoid oral sex.
Let me ‘attempt’ to change your attitude towards oral sex.
Communication is vital! You want to know if your partner likes oral or not? Ask them. You want to know what makes them feel good during oral, ask them. You want to know if they want you to shave first or clean up, ask. You want to tell them how you like it or don’t, tell them. Try to be on the same page, so that no one is assuming ‘things’ which could be wrong.
The smell; first cure would be to wash up before you engage in oral sex. It helps remove any bad odor or dirt. But there’s even a better way to cure this. What you eat affects how you taste when he goes down on you. You want to taste good; a great idea is pineapple juice, apples, celery, yogurt, red grapes, cranberry juice, lots of water, mint, watermelon, strawberries. Basically, anything that grows but isn’t smelly. Stay away from alcohol, asparagus, fish, crabs and spicy food, they will make you smell funny. Medications can also cause a bad “scent”.
For the guys, on top of washing up, you might want to cut that skin. Circumcise. It helps a lot.
Health. Avoid sexual networks, unprotected sex and when you get infections, seek medical help immediately. Always check to make sure you are healthy ‘downtown’.
Body image. I’ll be straight up on this one. If your partner doesn’t like whichever body shape you are, you might want to reconsider your options. Either you shape up or find someone else who will make you comfortable in your skin. If you yourself are not okay with the way you look, do something about it. But don’t stress over it and ruin your sex-escapades.
About the issue of immorality, I personally don’t think there’s anything wrong with pleasuring the person I love. And there are so many ways I can choose to pleasure them. (That’s my opinion.)
So, who is going downtown tonight for an expedition?